


glow up

by jeodoboleo



Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Complicated Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 12:03:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7438104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeodoboleo/pseuds/jeodoboleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"it's complicated" isn't enough for hongbin to explain - and the guilt eats away at him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	glow up

hongbin looks one last time at his phone before resting his chin on his palm, the fingers of the other drumming restlessly on the table. his feet pinch in his bowling shoes and he’s starting to feel warm under the collar from how stuffy the room is getting. he’s dressed in his favourite graphic tee and letterman jacket - the one hakyeon complimented him on so many times - he’s even applied cologne; and his date is late. hongbin berates himself for feeling almost glad.

wonshik had texted fifteen minutes ago saying it was raining heavily outside and he was stuck in traffic, and hasn’t said anything since. a feeling of dread sits heavily in the pit of hongbin’s stomach. what if wonshik had stood him up? what if something happened to him? he’s nearly tumbling into absurd worst-case scenarios when someone waves a hand in his line of vision. hongbin blinks, looks up and sees wonshik with damp hair and a worried expression on his face.

“you alright?” he asks, sliding into the booth beside hongbin and placing a small basket of fries in front of him.

it’s a red plastic basket; filled with thick cut fries and lined with red and white checkered wax paper, a small paper cup of ketchup on side. hongbin feels himself smile and he looks back up at Wonshik to see him smiling back, swiping his wet bangs out of his eyes.

“an apology for being late,” the side of wonshik’s mouth curves up; lopsided and handsome, “i remembered these are your favourite.”

hongbin’s cheeks burn, wonshik hadn’t known him for long but he’d remembered that he loved fries, specifically thick cut and with ketchup.

“thanks,” hongbin breathes, feeling meek as wonshik watches him dip a fry into the ketchup and eat it.

wonshik’s presence makes his stomach churn, and he nudges the basket towards him, “share with me.”

“ah no these are for you, you should eat them.”

hongbin looks the older in the eyes, “please?”

it’s only now that hongbin gets a good look at wonshik, his hair is dark now, a change from the striking blond he sported the last time he saw him; the front long and cut asymmetrically so it just brushes the top of one eye. the bowling alley is dimmed, but because of the black-light wonshik’s white shirt is glowing underneath his leather jacket, his necklace and earrings glinting.

wonshik chuckles, “alright, alright, i’ll spare your tiny stomach. i knew i should’ve gotten a smaller size instead but i guess this gives us an excuse to share right?”

*

“i kicked your ass today,” hongbin grins, feeling lighter than he has in a long time, giddy even; wonshik barking out a laugh beside him as they make their way to his car.

“well, i wouldn’t call it kicking my ass per se-”

“what are you talking about Mr. Gutterball, i got a turkey today, you saw with your own eyes!”

wonshik laughs louder as he opens the door on the passenger side, waiting for hongbin to get in before the rounding the front and slipping into the driver’s seat. he touches the keys in the ignition for a moment, but then stops, leaning back in the seat with a smile on his lips before looking at hongbin.

the blues and purples of the neon signs outside the bowling alley glare into the dark of the car, illuminating the planes of wonshik’s face and hongbin’s hands curl into fists, nails biting into his palm to stop himself from gravitating to wonshik like a moth to a flame. wonshik leans closer, eyes falling closed, and hongbin nearly lets himself slip.    
  
"wait," hongbin cover wonshik's mouth with his hand, his breath warm over his palm.

wonshik wraps his own around hongbin's wrist, removing his hand gently, "too fast?"

“i’m still dating hongchan,” he blurts it out in spite of himself, “i couldn't turn your offer down, and then i came to tell you in person, but i just couldn’t do it.”

_i'm a coward._ hongbin sinks his teeth so hard into his bottom lip it hurts.  _ i’m sorry. _

wonshik's eyes soften, shutter for a split moment as he looks down, his ring clinks against the gear shift as his hand hovers over it. hongbin's windpipe closes up tight. he never meant for it to be like this.

wonshik's voice is soft when he speaks again, clearing his throat as if to steady a wavering in his voice, "did you...have fun at least?"

hongbin can't bear to look wonshik in the eye, but a grin works it's way onto his face as he ducks his head. he had the best time in a long time, he can't even remember the last time he laughed so hard tears sprung to his eyes. the older had made him laugh and made him feel loved and the smile hongbin stretching his lips his cheeks ache.   
  
"i did," he looks up at wonshik - glances - from the corner of his eye, "thank you."  
  
*

the ride back home is quiet. dark. the tension between them is awkward and thick but wonshik, bless his heart, is trying his best to make small talk and hongbin feels even worse. his heart is down in his stomach and it burns. wonshik asks if he wants to listen to the the radio; turns it to a quiet volume to fill the silence when hongbin hums his approval, he makes sure the heater is on and working with a palm to the vents, he even reaches for hongbin's hand and hongbin lets him. it's eating away at him for letting himself be weak, for not moving on and letting wonshik move on too, but he's grasping at any thread he can get because-

because.

he tightens his grip on wonshik's hand and tells himself it's because the wonshik's more than worth it.

only the headlights pave their way down the road, just black and the glowing yellow lines of the road and evergreens on each side zipping past, it's quiet enough hongbin can hear the pulse of his blood in his ears.

his hand is clammy with sweat and he tries to pry his hand out of wonshik's grasp, but then there's a bump in the road and it jolts the both of them in their seats, wonshik's fingers digging into skin of his forearm now. wonshik keeps driving but the car suddenly slows, a hissing coming from underneath them.

"shit," wonshik says under his breath.

wonshik lets go to grip at the steering wheel, pulling over to the side of the road, and hongbin releases a breath he never knew he was holding. hongbin sits up straighter in his seat, watching as wonshik puts the car into park and unbuckles his seatbelt swiftly.

he opens the door and slams it shut before opening it again and poking his head in, as if remembering hongbin was there through his panic, "let me check what's going on. you can come out and have a look with me if you like."   
  
hongbin bites his lip and nods, unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car carefully. he walks the driver's side to where wonshik is standing, looking down at the front tire. he kicks at the rubber, and it makes a dull thump. flat tire.

hongbin's never had to fix a flat before, he wonders if wonshik has, the older crouching down to inspect it more carefully. wonshik stands and wipes his hands on his jeans as he makes his way to the trunk, smearing black oil over the denim. it seems even darker outside now, the forest at their backs, only the sound of cicadas and the rustling of the wind through the trees; it makes hongbin quicken his step as he follows him.

wonshik pops open the trunk, muttering about a spare tire before he stills, lips pressed together in a thin line and looking embarrassed. hongbin follows wonshik's gaze and sees the trunk full with boxes filled with clothes and plastic-looking mop heads of some sort. he shoves the boxes aside, looking for the spare tire before clapping a hand over his eyes and groaning.   
  
"of course," wonshik drawls, hanging his head and chuckling, "that's my sister's cheerleading team's uniforms. she's the captain and they got in new ones this morning. right when i actually  _ need _ my spare tire, i left it in the garage so i can fit all my sister's stuff when the backseat filled up. "   
  
hongbin holds the side of his fist up to his mouth, shoulders shaking as he giggles, "god, you're so whipped for her."   
  
wonshik's hands drop from his hips, as he stares at hongbin with wide eyes, and hongbin can feel heat crawl up his face, "not like  _ that _ , oh my god wonshik you damn idiot."   
  
wonshik sputters before bursting out into hearty laughter, throwing his head back. he's still trembling as he slams the trunk shut, wiping his eyes as from tears of mirth he pulls out his cellphone and sits down on grass beside the car. he punches in a number before holding it to his ear, looking up expectantly at hongbin before patting the ground beside him in invitation.

hongbin shoves up the sleeves of his jacket, feeling warm, licking his dry lips as he sits cross-legged next to the older.    
  
"hey wonnie, the car got a flat, can you get dad's car and bring my spare? twenty minutes?" wonshik says in his phone, surprise clear in his voice, "alright. ok. thanks won."

"so what's the plan?" hongbin says, pulling at the grass by his feet.   
  
"my sister is going to bring my spare tire in our parent's car so we can fix it and drive back. no need for a tow truck or anything that way."   
  
"oh," hongbin sighs in relief.   
  
the tension seeps back into the air, chills hongbin more than the summer breeze. he opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again, feeling guilt coil in the pit of his stomach. hongbin finds himself observing wonshik's profile for the second time that night, the streetlights around them are dull, hiding most of the older's face in shadow. hongbin tries not to rip at the holes in his jeans to shreds. he needs to to say it, but the words get caught in his throat the moment he thinks to do it.

it's when wonshik turns, a shy closed-mouth smile on his face as he looks at hongbin, that does it for him.

"wonshik," hongbin croaks, "i need to tell you something."

wonshik faces him now, brows pulled together with concern, "what's wrong hongbin-ah?"

hongbin inhales shakily, hands shakier, and he steadies them by shoving them into his pockets. he nearly stops himself fromtaking his hands out again, knowing he won’t able to resist the urge fidget because now he has to force himself to look wonshik in the eye.    
  
"i'm not...dating gongchan  _ exactly _ ," hongbin looks up at wonshik through his bangs, "it just kind of happened? i don't know what we are. i don't really even like him that but, even though you and i haven't known each other for long, i-"   
  
wonshik's looking at him curiously, head tilted and gaze gentle and hongbin's stomach churns not just from nerves.   
  
"i really like you."   
  
*   
hongbin feels like the main protagonist in one of his sister's rom-com movies, standing at his front door, under the porch light with wonshik like this. he knows wonshik does too, the bridge of his nose and cheeks a light pink, his hands clasped together.

"so is this where you kiss me goodnight and then i go upstairs and write 'HB plus WS' in a heart all over my notebook until i fall asleep?"   
  
wonshik laughs again, smirks, and hongbin almost regrets trying to be clever.   
  
"only if you want."

almost.

hongbin nods, not trusting his mouth again.

he tries not to tense when wonshik’s hand goes to cup his cheek, the other taking hongbin’s fingers into his own. he closes his eyes as the older yanks him in, hongbin leaning closer and into his warmth. a sigh escapes him as their lips meet, soft and chaste and sweet, and hongbin tugs wonshik in for another by the lapel of his coat when he parts. when wonshik meets his eyes, he feels meek again, tipping his head down, but wonshik takes his chin between his forefinger and thumb and pecks him lightly. the smile on wonshik’s face when they pull away makes him weak. eyes crescent moons and cheeks round, it’s hongbin’s favourite.  
  
“i guess this is where we say goodbye and you run upstairs to write in your little diary?”    
  
hongbin glares before socking wonshik in the shoulder, laughing at wonshik feigning hurt, "shut up."  
  
wonshik’s deep chuckle joins him before he’s being gathered in wonshik’s arms into a hug that squeezes the air out of his lungs.   
  
the older smells of spicy cologne and car engine oil, and hongbin presses his smile into wonshik’s shoulder, “jerk.”

**Author's Note:**

> * you can also find and talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jeodoboleo) and [tumblr](http://www.jeodoboleo.tumblr.com/)!~  
> * comments (and kudos) are appreciated and encourage me to post more! ♡♡♡


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